12 Years

Caeleb turns twelve on Saturday. I celebrate him and stand amazed at the person he has grown into. He has become a young man, full of his own preferences and ideas. We will soon be entering the years when I will stand back and watch him make decisions, mistakes, and successes. We will mentor and guide him, and we will pray the whole way that he follows Jesus. I can honestly say, I think he'll do alright. By the grace of God.


Every one of his birthdays is a real milestone and time of reflection for me. Caeleb changed my life. I was only 19, having just completed my freshman year at college. My life was confusing; I didn't know who I was. What came as a surprise, became a turning point. Mike and I made a committment to each other and our baby. The transition to motherhood was quick and easy after the initial shock and adjustment. And, oh how I love being a mother. My heart will never be the same. It has been stretched and it's capacity for love and emotion is so great; I know this love is now from me but from Him who is love.

I whole-heartedly threw myself into being a mother and wife. But it hasn't always been easy for me as an individual. I sometimes feel like I have never really discovered who Emily is. What are her hobbies, interests, passions? I am now at a point in my life of growth and self-discovery.

I don't mean for this to sound whiny or pathetic. Becoming a wife and mother, and trying to do it my way left me empty and grasping. When I fully surrendered to Jesus, and agreed to do things His Way, the joy in my life increased. I am happy and recognize the many blessings in my life. I am just now at a point of growth.

It's been 12 years...and I wouldn't change a bit.